DECEMBER 7, 2008.

If you’ve got a heartbeat and can, on a good day, walk and chew gum at the same time, it’s pretty hard to not get emotional about what’s going on with the world economy. Frankly, it’s hard for me to write about golf. I can’t help obsessing over the end of the world.

I’d have no economic worries if someone gave me a dollar for every time in the last two months the words “plummet”, “plunge”, “crash”, and “nosedive” have been used. And while our bourgeois day to day lives may seem to not yet have changed all that noticeably, there’s no mistaking the fear in the eyes of the television commentators. You can even sense it between the lines in newsprint.

Depending on how far inland the impending Marxist storm surge reaches–a political attempt to re-engineer the natural laws of economics–we may manage to defer a good deal of our pocketbook pain for a moment. But the reality is, no magic pill exists that will completely absolve our dinero debauchery of the last twenty-five years (please call your physician if it lasts more than four hours–could cause blindness and sudden liver failure).

A recent article opined hope for golf. John Paul Newport wrote in the Wall Street Journal (”Playing Through Hard Times”), “There’s a chance, if we’re lucky, that the current economic crisis could make golf a better game.”

Sounds good, but the reality is the golf industry is not immune to the worst meltdown since Dorothy doused the Wicked Witch of the West. To wit, a recent report stated that around half of golfers will be cutting back on their fanatical frustration.

The reality is that sales of golf apparel and equipment are sliding as fast as a side hill putt at Augusta. Publicly traded shares of the golf OEMs are scaring long time lows. Many golf resort real estate developments are turning into ghost towns.

The golf industry is in the gorse.

Unfortunately, golf’s leaders aren’t going to have the opportunity to ride their EZ-Go Hybrids into D.C. with promises of $1 salaries designed to swindle Congress out of a few bil to save America and avert the next great depression.

The bottom line–and it’s all about the bottom line–is that our financial future is in jeopardy. The golf industry is in jeopardy. Our way of life is in jeopardy.

In discussing the last depression, Newport’s article quoted the Director of the U.S. Golf Association Museum: “This was the period during which golf became acceptable to a much wider range of people… The Works Progress Administration built more than 100 new golf courses nationwide, opening up the game to thousands. Women, forced by circumstances to work outside the home, took up the game in unprecedented numbers.”

The Great Depression was not a positive time for business. It was not a positive time for the golf industry. But circumstances provided for positive impact to the GAME of golf. The game of golf, versus the business of golf, transcends struggling economies and human conflict. It exists on a separate plane–one of passion, of obsession.

And even though our financial lives may be in upheaval while the business of life is suffering from uncontrollable negative forces, the game of life remains solidly within our control–transcendent of struggling economies and human conflict. This is the time of year when we slow down long enough to refocus on family, friends, and the “important” things in life.

Maybe we’ll hold onto and cherish those moments a bit longer than in the “better” years.

NOVEMBER 24, 2008.

I don’t have time to watch much golf on television, although I make a point of catching some of the weekend action during the major championships. The fact is, I find televised golf a tad boring–a fairly embarrassing admission from someone who has worked in the golf industry since the early 1990s, played Division I college golf, and still has a single-digit handicap.

But this year, it was more than boredom that kept me away. After Tiger Woods’ gutty U.S. Open playoff victory over Rocco Mediate, I don’t think I watched even 30 minutes of televised golf. That includes the British Open and PGA Championships, both of which featured exciting victories by Padraig Harrington. So with much respect for Harrington and the other TOUR players, I admit that I pretty much lost interest once Tiger went under the knife. And I wasn’t alone.

Television ratings indicate that a Tigerless TOUR is not worth watching for many folks–this in spite of the fact that the Tigerless second half of the 2008 PGA TOUR proved there is more to the TOUR than Tiger. Exciting players like Anthony Kim helped lead a Tigerless U.S. team to a Ryder Cup victory. Camilo Villegas’ two victories both came in the four-event FedEx Cup Playoffs. And Vijay Singh finished atop the TOUR’s money list and was the FedEx Cup Champion. But even this illustrious combination of names was unable to replace one: Tiger.

Count me among the people who don’t love the fact Woods seemingly wins every tournament he enters, or at least always seems to have a chance to win down the stretch. But the fact is, like everyone else, I pay a lot more attention to the tournaments Tiger enters, knowing that he’ll be in the hunt on Sunday. Maybe part of my interest is in seeing someone else beat him, maybe part of it is just marveling at his ability. Regardless of the reason, let’s consider what Tiger accomplished this season to fully understand and appreciate not only how far-and-away better he is than every other player out there, but also what his presence means to golf and the TOUR.

Woods won his first three 2008 PGA TOUR starts as a part of a seven-event win streak that started the prior fall. His winning streak ended in March, when he finished fifth in the WGC-CA Championship.

Despite looking about as mediocre as Tiger can look at Augusta, the hilliest course on the TOUR, he still finished second–on one leg. Two days after the tournament, Woods had surgery to clean out cartilage in his left knee, hoping that would allow him to play through the end of the season.

After missing two months of action, Tiger suffered a double stress fracture in his left leg two weeks before the U.S. Open. Despite being in obvious pain throughout the tournament, Woods limped for 91 holes to outlast Mediate for the title.

All told, in his abbreviated 2008 season, Woods won five of seven tournaments worldwide and nine of 12 events, and never finished lower than fifth place. He also finished second to Singh (who played 23 events) on the 2008 PGA TOUR money list, earning an average of $962,500 per event.

Tiger is currently the heart and soul of the PGA TOUR. We should count ourselves as lucky to have a chance to witness this man’s extraordinary feats. Let’s join Tim Finchem in keeping our fingers crossed that Tiger stays healthy and active on the TOUR for a long time.

OCTOBER 25, 2008.

I was browsing through the N500Y entries from the past 9 months and came across one from Langston Wertz Jr. posted January 30, 2008 and entitled “I Like to Tinker”. Mr. Wertz made a great case for the benefits of interchangeable heads and shafts. Especially if you use them the way he suggests; tinkering.

Back in January, I was personally skeptical about how this ‘new’ technology was going to affect the golf club business. My company, Henry-Griffitts, has been using interchangeable shafts and heads for 12 years to accurately fit golfers to the right equipment specifications based on ball flight and individual swing tendencies. I know first-hand what using the same head and changing shafts can do, and more importantly, what it can’t do. My concerns about allowing individual players to ‘tinker’ with this technology without professional assistance has basis in experience. BTW, in my world, professional assistance doesn’t mean the 19-year-old sales people at Golf MegaPlex so accurately described by Langston in his story. We find it extremely important to monitor the effects of equipment changes on a player’s golf swing. The only ones who are qualified to do that are those who understand the golf swing and its intricacies.

So what did the golf club manufacturers do by providing one driver head and several shafts? I think they confused those who bought them. As I have stated, my observations are based on 12 years of observing a similar process. I will start with a small lesson on what shafts really do. This should bring on the wrath of shaft manufacturers everywhere, since they all think the shaft is the engine of the swing. Actually, the body is the real engine. The shaft is only the transaxle.

Stiffness is a relative term. Stiff compared to what? If you measured one of TaylorMade’s interchangeables in S-flex, it might not be the same frequency as the Callaway S-flex. If there are three S-flex shafts in the kit, they might all have a different frequency and maybe substantially different. But it is probably (hopefully?) stiffer than the TaylorMade R-flex. Here is something that has been said many times by many people. I don’t want to repeat myself so I am capitalizing it. THERE ARE NO STANDARDS IN THE GOLF INDUSTRY!

Kick Point is supposed to influence the launch angle of the ball. The shaft companies talk about ‘high’ launch and ‘low’ launch, as if there is a big difference in launch between the two. I’m afraid it doesn’t happen. A lot of the influence here is the feel of the shaft. Stiffness also has something to do with launch in most shafts. Manufacturers will make higher launch shafts softer than the lower launch ones–and still mark them with the magic “S”.

Weight can be a big deal for some players. In general, different people respond differently to different weights. Some swing heavier better, some swing lighter better. Again, in general, higher launch shafts are lighter than lower launch ones.

Length is a ticklish subject. The most common driver length you will find is 45 inches – at least this year. The search for longer drives is growing driver length into the 46 inch range. At any rate, 45 inches doesn’t leave any room for those who can swing a longer driver and it handcuffs those who should be swinging shorter drivers.

What do you get when you buy one of the interchangeable head/shaft kits? One head and two or three shafts, depending on manufacturer. All of the shafts are (or at least say they are) the same flex, even if they are from different shaft manufacturers. They will all be the same length. They will indicate they are for high or low launch. They will probably be different weights. In other words, you really will have no idea unless you have the measuring tools to analyze them.

What will you experience? I’ll bet you won’t see a huge difference in launch angle. You may find that one shaft works better than the other one or two. If they are all the same length, that won’t be the reason. It might be the weight, it might be the flex, it might be the torque, and it won’t be something you can readily discern. It will just work better. It might work much better. Will you change this shaft out when the course and/or weather conditions make you think that a different shaft – one you don’t hit as well – is going to help you play better? You probably will end up using only one shaft, no matter what course you are on or what the weather is. The extra shafts will find their way into the garage with the putter collection.

Here are a couple of other possibilities. One is that none of the shafts seem to match up to your swing; too stiff, too long, too light, too heavy. The other is that there is no difference among the shafts. They all do the same thing and it was a waste of time and money. But it was fun to tinker! Just like it was with putters!

I think the net result of this marketing experiment will be to prove to the golfers who buy into it that shafts are not the big influence they are advertised to be. The consumer may be finding out there really isn’t much difference between a no-name, less expensive, stock shaft; and another with super graphics, a big advertising budget, and a bigger price tag. The lack of hype in advertising since January seems to bear this out. After the big splash made at the PGA Show, I have seen and heard very little about this technology from the companies who are selling it. If it was working, wouldn’t it be plastered in every magazine you read and in every commercial you see?

I believe a better marketing strategy would have been to offer one shaft with two or three driver heads of different lofts. Changing the loft will definitely change the trajectory. This approach, however, would put a premium on finding the specific shaft that provides positive influence on an individual’s swing. That is a totally different journey. And it would cost more, since heads cost more than shafts.

So, Mr. Wertz, did you find the beef? Or did you fit into one of my scenarios?

OCTOBER 1, 2008.

I’m somewhat enjoying the nescient narcissism on technicolor display by our formally fatuous public servants, pretending to know what in Keynes’ name they are doing relative to the alleged meltdown of our economy–the end of the world as we know it.

I personally have no idea what will happen if we don’t rush to commit seven hundred billion American Pesos to preserve the champagne lifestyles of Wall Street’s moneyed mountebanks, but I secretly wish we could find out. Sales of fully-loaded Bentleys might take a temporary hit as the boiler room burglars regroup, perhaps reinventing themselves as aluminum siding salesmen or TV evangelists.

I remember flying on a plane with one of the financial sector’s finest, who brashly admitted that he never sold anyone less than a thousand miles away. He went on to explain the wisdom of his strategy–the fact that you can’t take a gun on a plane and no one would drive a thousand miles to shoot you.

Sounded logical to me.

But the fact of the matter is I am unmoved by any of this. Trust when I say I worry about a lot of things that are totally out of my control, but the actions of a bunch of useless, self-serving politicians don’t represent one of them. Face it, if any of us really cared we’d go through the ignominy of a public election, take the reins, and do something about all this falderal. But instead we leave it to the pernicious vermin who have no marketable skills and therefore no means of making an honest living.

Meanwhile, the rest of us go about our quiet lives shuffling papers by day and driving the next generation of victims to soccer practice by night. And if any of us shufflers gets our knickers in a knot over the acts of our lunatic lawmakers, we should take solace in the fact that if we can avoid worrying our little heads over such nonsense we can go about our lives in quite a fulfilling manner.

The reality is, as Harry Browne opined, you can indeed live free in an unfree world.

So what if the Dow sinks into oblivion. My IRA is in all cash. So what if the world is on the brink of financial collapse. I’ve got a comfortable Lazy Boy and a forty-six inch 1080P LCD TV. So what if the neighborhood bank is converted to a Starbucks. I’m fully stocked with Tombstone Pizzas along with an ample supply of Red Bull, Skol, and Slim Jims. What difference does it make if Freddy and Fanny are going to cost the American Public one point five trillion United States Lira. All I’m interested in knowing is how old the fat kid is on Two and a Half Men.

So, as I’ve asked before, what does this all have to do with the game of golf?

Here’s the point:

Golf exists on two independent planes.

The most noteworthy plane, the “business” of golf, is controlled by well-meaning purveyors who want to increase rounds on courses that make the manliest men assume the fetal position–and not because of the 600 yard par fives with seventeen yard wide fairways and twenty foot deep pot bunkers, but because of the four hundred dollar greens fees; and by well-meaning purveyors who want to sell you two thousand dollar sets of clubs with uber-MOI-trapezoidal-high-modulus-tungsten-alloy heads fit by self-anointed Sucker-Stix shaft-fitting specialists; and by well-meaning purveyors in white lab coats who measure your shots using the latest Stick-Man x-ray machine that is so amazing it can even turn your wife into a nineteen-year-old mute clone of Farrah Fawcett.

But, thanks to Old Tom, C.B. and the cunning craftsmen who figured out how to get a top-hat full of feathers into a 1.62″ diameter goat skin sphere the other plane, the “game” of golf, consists of those of us who remember what it was like to play a competitive round in under three hours; who used to play stymie with our buddies; who died a thousand deaths that fateful afternoon at Olympic in ‘66; who know what a Sunday stick was and wished we had one; who believe that Hogan was the best but Hagen was the coolest; and who covet this amazing game with the passion of Picasso and the unqualified familial love only a mother has for her first-born.

Notwithstanding my bitterness over Washington’s recent staggering display of ignorance I’ll admit that, like the business of golf, they are generally a well-meaning lot.

But I choose freedom.

SEPTEMBER 21, 2008.

…I have a great book that was a gift from a great man, Mr. Sergio Gomez. Likely you’ve not heard of Sergio, but he’s a strong force in European golf. Among other things, Sergio has been Jose Maria Olazabal’s manager and mentor for decades. The book is a photographic study of the Ryder Cup recorded by a noted Spanish photographer who knows nothing about golf. Hence the photos are not typical of what you’d expect in such a book.

There is one very memorable photograph, a close-up of the backs of the heads of one American and one European player. The names of the players are not important, nor is the particular Ryder Cup that was the focus of this book. What struck me was that the American’s hat carried the name of that player, while the European hat was embroidered with, simply, Europe.

The Americans’ losing streak going into this year’s event has often been attributed to the lack of team chemistry–a bunch of individuals playing the Europeans who exhibited true team characteristics. Those hats told the story.

Congratulations to the Americans, who this year truly played and won as a team.

…There is no doubt in my mind that the American team was stronger–without Tiger. Tiger is by far the best player in golf today, and probably of all time. But he’s a traveling road show. It’s not his fault, but it’s a fact that he draws attention in a way that mitigates the team psychology. I hope Tiger plays in the next twenty Ryder Cups, but it will be interesting to see what happens.

…A very wise man pointed out to me today that the true essence of the Ryder Cup revolves around intense but sportsmanlike competition–not a place for in-your-face grandstanding. Paul Azinger had to have done a great job as captain, but I would have loved if he’d have trained his boys to contain themselves. There was too much chest puffing, dancing, and over-demonstrative celebrating by the younger American players.

But I forgive them–they did a wonderful job of bringing the Cup back to America.

SEPTEMBER 10, 2008.

Nothing dramatic here, just a few random thoughts…

In Defense of Women:

My friend Fred presented what for him was a reserved rant on the PGA Expo and its venue, Las Vegas, Nevada. Freddie got so caught up in his pontificating that he failed to clearly deliver the true message. It is this:

The game of golf should respect women. The game of golf needs women. Women are wonderful golf customers and wonderful golf supporters. The PGA of America, one of the primary ruling bodies of the game, must lead by example and embrace women in golf.

This is why the PGA of America should be roundly criticized for allowing its western showcase of the game of golf to be held in Las Vegas, the city that exploits and demeans women more than any other place on earth.

Ugh-a-Ming Redux:

About a year ago I recounted a golf trip with friends to a place called A-ga-ming in northern Michigan, a lovely golf destination with six hour rounds. Play was so slow that we ended up combining two foursomes until one of the pro shop staff came out and demanded we break up–even though as an eightsome we were waiting on every shot.

This year we played two courses that restored my faith in mankind. First, we played Dunmaglas, a very unique and visually stunning course near the north shore of Lake Charlevoix in Northern Michigan. The weather wasn’t great (cool and rainy), but the staff was incredibly accommodating, providing us with towels, plastic bags for our clubs, and anything else we asked for. We mentioned that we’d like to play an eightsome, and the response was to have a great time and if anyone came up behind us to please just let them play through.

We also played the pristine Forest Dunes course. Incredibly, if possible, we were treated even better there. We felt pampered every step of the way. My favorite part, something I’ve personally never experienced at a golf course, was when the pro told me that if we needed anything at all while on the course–balls, gloves, food, drink–just to call and he’d have it run out to us.

Hats off to Dunmaglas and Forest Dunes, two rare golf facilities that understand the concept of the customer.

August 29, 2008.

The lamentable Bales has advised that he’s going to ban me from this forum if I don’t clean up my act and start presenting matters in a positive light.

It reminded me of the first joke my father ever told me, about a shy freshman at a college dance. His friends told him to be sure to give the girl a nice compliment to warm her up. He got up the nerve, asked one of the girls, and then while on the dance floor told her:

“You sweat less than any fat girl I’ve ever danced with.”

Ok, ladies, I know that’s sexist. But you know I care about you (you rule the world–I’d be a fool not to). We could reverse the genders in the story, but I’ve got to keep this culturally relevant.

In any case, I’ve just returned from hell, having attended the PGA Expo in Las Vegas. The Expo was okay. The pejorative remark refers to “Vegas”, the most godless place on the planet. It took brimstone and fire to eradicate Sodom and Gomorrah, and I’m guessing the next such occurrence will take place in southern Nevada.

To wit:

Upon checking into my lovely hotel I was given the typical key card in a folder which visually promoted what allegedly was the hottest topless babe review in “Vegas”. Getting to my room I found I already had voicemail, a sultry voice inviting me for a massage, and perhaps more.

Walking through the hotel to the Expo floor I passed numerous billboards advertising various sinful experiences, mostly involving beautiful women in their underwear–or less. Most of my walk was through the casino (you can’t get anywhere in “Vegas” without walking through the casino). I observed some of God’s children plying their craft on slot machines and various gaming tables, cocktails and cigarettes in hand (”Vegas” is one of the few remaining places on earth where smoking in public is encouraged).

It was ten in the morning.

Upon reaching the Expo floor I discovered the show space had been divided, with the other part dedicated to a stripper’s convention. It made for, at the very least, some amusing sights each night when it let out. My favorite was the one five foot tall lady who, if she had worn a beach ball around her neck, would have made for a fine pawn shop sign (an old joke–and probably not one many will get–but trust me, it’s funny).

I was particularly amused the next morning when we got the hard sell from the room service folks to get some shots of Jagermeister with our English muffins. That’s when my friend Erik observed how “Vegas” strives to sell you corruption at every turn.

What amazed me most were all the families running around in this environment. It eludes me why anyone would bring young children to “Vegas”. I can imagine the conversation at dinner:

“Johnny, eat all your vegetables or there will be no showgirls for you tonight.”

I also theorize that the two most ubiquitous statements in “Vegas” are “It’s a dry heat”, and “How much for a roll in the hay?” (Okay, not quite–I tried to clean up the last one).

But this story is about the PGA Expo, not “Vegas”. So let me start, as Bales has dictated, with some positive observations:

1. The PGA of America and Reed Exhibitions (they put on the show for the PGA) are a bunch of very sincere caring guys. The guys in the trenches do care about making the show successful.

2. The show itself was not a waste of time. Few people attended, and there are at least a hundred golf shows in the U.S. that are bigger, but it was a meaningful show attended by meaningful people.

But, as you know, my role in life is not to say nice things. I’m not the voice of reason. I’m an alarm clock. I’m the guy that says things because no one else does and they need to be said.

Keeping it as positive as possible, I offer the following to the show’s organizers:

1. Demo Day was a nice idea. Allowing exhibitors to show their stuff on an outdoor range was great. But it would have been nice if it wasn’t 107 degrees and if a few customers had shown up. If you need some help improving this for next year, let me know–I’ve got a couple ideas.

2. The official golf tournament was a nice idea. Allowing us to invite our customers to play in a PGA-hosted event on a good course was great. But, besides the 107 degree temperature, you might have tried to figure a way to get folks around the course in less than FIVE HOURS AND TWENTY MINUTES. Come on, you guys are the guardians of the game. If you need help, give me a call. I can fix this. Meanwhile, trust me when I say that when you send a customer into 107 degree heat on a golf course for FIVE HOURS AND TWENTY MINUTES, you don’t improve your standing.

3. I am very grateful you gave us a free spot at the ETC Range. But I’d have been even more grateful if you hadn’t kicked us out of the building on setup day before you set up the exhibit sites and hitting areas so that WE COULD HAVE ACTUALLY BEEN READY FOR THE SHOW. As it turned out, we lost half the first day getting set up, and as you know, in a two-day show in “Vegas” the lure of corruption renders the second day useless. At least you made it two days. Had it been a one day show, as my friend Chuck pointed out, the corruption would have rendered the first day useless.

4. Thanks for the invite to the PGA party at House of Blues. I’m sure this looked good on paper. But I didn’t find anyone all that thrilled about packing into an exceedingly loud, cramped place where you essentially couldn’t move. I suppose some of the attendees appreciated the two tickets enabling them to a free plastic cup of Lite Beer. And for those who got locked in the crowd within reach of the appetizers, I suppose some of them appreciated the cold spinach dip and tri-colored Doritos. But I can give you an idea or two on how to ratchet this gig up a notch or two.

5. “Vegas”. What more can I say. Based on the traffic, the airport security lines, the hour wait to check into the hotel and the serpentine lines at the Starbuck’s located every hundred feet, “Vegas” looks to be a popular place. But, guys, I’m not buying into it as the city that epitomizes the qualities I used to associate with the game of golf. Seriously, are you leading us, or leading us into perdition? Golf is one of the most uniquely special things in our lives. Does “Vegas” well represent what golf stands for? Are you setting the right example here? Give me a call if you’d like some ideas on a more suitable location.

Golf on one plane has three elements. There is the game of golf, which is a cultural passion that rises above everything and all who try to influence it (thankfully). There is the business of golf–profit-driven purveyors who use those profits to do things that have a chance of advancing the game, usually in positive ways.

And, then, there are golf’s ruling bodies. These are the guardians of the game. These are the role-models for the rest of us cleek-wielding Cretans. These are the leaders to whom we look for guidance and knowledge.

And to those ruling bodies, my humble observation is that you need to sharpen your skates. You can do better.

AUGUST 14, 2008.

When my grandmother was succumbing to cancer, my uncle made a series of calls to my father to come pay a final visit. Over time the requests for my father’s visit became more urgent. I accompanied him on the ultimate visit. We were both shocked at the degree of my grandmother’s physical decline. Yet her mind and soul had sustained the same amazing luster and positive energy she had had in her prime.

The business of golf in America is ill. A casual observer might not notice, as would have been the case with my grandmother before her body began to fail. But the symptoms are present. Golf can be healed, but not without change. It’s been said that golf has lost its relevance in American culture. I am willing to stipulate that this is the effect. But the causes are many.

If you could give golf a stress test, a colonoscopy, and a full body MRI, you’d understand what the doctors already know.

Signs of Illness

The annual number of rounds played and the total number of golf course facilities in the U.S. has remained stagnant for more than a decade. Both have slipped in numbers over the last three years. Courses are being plowed under. In spite of the fact that millions of players take up the game each year, an equal or greater number give it up. The business of golf is doing a poor job at keeping its customers.

In many areas of the U.S. the traditional country club is falling from grace. In my market the signs are widespread. One private club was sold to creditors who changed it to a low-priced public access course, and are now contemplating subdividing it for housing. One club that has had a waiting list for 50 years is now struggling with a member shortage. One club, the site of more than half a dozen majors, recently admitted everyone on a waiting list of more than 80 would-be applicants after a mass exodus by existing members–under loss-leader terms reminiscent of the used car business. For a club that a generation ago wouldn’t even let you put your name on a waiting list unless you were a relative blue-blood, this was golf’s equivalent of the Mariel Boatlift.

It is getting increasingly difficult to find major sponsors for professional events. Companies that embraced golf just a few years ago have started to turn their back on golf. The auto industry, for years the backbone of golf sponsorship, has fallen on hard times and is making a rapid retreat. Cadillac, once a major Champions Tour sponsor, has withdrawn from golf completely. Chrysler and Buick, two of the PGA TOUR’s largest sponsors, have cut back significantly on golf spending.

The OEMs are running out of ways to advance club technology, and therefore ways to compel golfers to purchase new equipment. For many, their stock is at or near a long term low. And they struggle to earn meaningful profits. Barney Adams, in his book The WOW Factor, listed over 100 golf OEMs present in 1990 which are now either defunct or of greatly diminished significance.

While the youth of America don’t think golf is lame, as was the case a generation ago, they nonetheless are not embracing it. If golf can’t get the attention of today’s youth, there will be negative consequences a generation from now. Today’s youth require instant feedback and fast action. They get trophies for participation. They play video games with interactive action that moves faster than Retief Goosen in a thunderstorm. But the typical round of golf takes longer than ever. Golf broadcasts are slow and boring, with little or no interaction. Golf represents, in many ways, the antithesis of American youth culture.

The Howling Beasts

A while back I tried to write a clever article about slaying the BEASTS. “BEASTS” is my acronym for the things in golf that affect its overall relevance. We can heal golf if we focus on improving these fundamental elements.

B = Barriers: The game today places barriers for many participants. We must strive to welcome with open arms all players, regardless of ability, age, sex, race, or style. We must think of golf as the business it is and golfers as the customers they are. Instead of bombarding our customers with rules and negativity when they come to the course, we should strive to make every moment they spend an extremely positive experience.

E = Equipment: Most golfers have equipment that is ill-fitting to their swing and physical capabilities. We must strive to deliver to golfers clubs that fit their games. We also need to make this equipment affordable, or to welcome new players without equipment by supplying it at the course–with a selection and reasonable cost comparable to how bowling centers accommodate casual participants.

A = Access: Many golfers perceive impediments to regular play. We must strive to overcome factors that mitigate access including price, availability, pace of play, weather, and location. One partial solution involves the growth of indoor golf. While hard to comprehend for golf traditionalists, indoor golf has the ability to overcome virtually all of the access problems golf faces. It also is consistent with a cultural trend to move outdoor sports and activities inside. Consider that over 80 new indoor water parks are expected to open in the U.S. in the next year. One indoor golf simulator purveyor claims that 2 million rounds per year are played on its simulators alone. GolfTec, an indoor golf instruction business, claims to give 10% of all the golf lessons in the U.S.

S = Social: The vast majority of golfers play to relax and have fun in a social environment. Women especially are oriented to the social aspects of play. We must strive to get compatible golfers together in a way that creates an enjoyable social experience. There are many ways for golf facilities to create a more social environment for players to meet and play together. But the biggest impact can be made, very easily, by simply getting club pros out from behind their desks and pro shop counters out onto the course to get folks together, play holes with the patrons, and act as the course social director.

T = Time: The most diabolical disease in golf today is slow play. We absolutely must take measures immediately to enforce a reasonable pace of play, and to educate golfers on how to speed up play and why it is essential to the health of golf. It dawned on me while playing the other day, waiting on every shot the entire round, that most players really have no idea how to get around the course efficiently. Instead of having marshals patrolling the course pretending to keep things moving, send out friendly instructors to help players learn good habits in efficient play.

S = Satisfaction: In golf, as it is with anything in life, if one doesn’t find their performance satisfying they’ll be less encouraged to do it more. We must strive to improve our methods and systems for teaching the game, we must help golfers realize and find pleasure in meeting realistic expectations, and we must provide courses and play from tees that fit our games. We must strive with all our power to guarantee that our customers have a very predictable, positive experience every time they come to the course.

If we place serious focus on these fundamental elements, we can not only heal the business of golf, but we can help the game of golf sustain its amazing luster and positive energy.

AUGUST 5, 2008.

It was a tough week at the mill, so when Mom called to say she didn’t need me to come down to scrape her feet I was admittedly relieved. Seems she met another resident at the home, some guy named Ed who was catatonic for four years but suddenly came to when his ex-wife came by looking to claim his remaining assets–which consist of a ‘76 Eldorado convertible (the last year they made ‘em–black hubcaps), a set of Tony Penna irons, and some Hagen woods Ed refinished himself with twelve coats of marine spar varnish (changed ‘em to about a D-500 swing weight).

I guess Ed would have been out on the street had it not been for the one-time endowment deal he worked out at the home when it was under water. He hit a big land deal and was rolling in it for a couple years (hence, the Eldo). I don’t know what Mom sees in him, but if he makes her happy and frees up an evening for me, I’m not complaining.

I still stopped by the In ‘n’ Out to grab my usual supply of Slim Jims, Skol, and Red Bull. I forwent the big bottle of Manischewitz I normally get for the ride over to the rest home, opting instead for a couple twenty-four ounce Steel Reserve 211 high gravity lagers. I like the way they make your legs numb. It’s a good feeling after being on your feet all day punching steel. On the ride home I fired up a Willie CD, cracked open a Steel, and started decompressing for a nice quiet evening. I needed a break.

I got home and checked the mail. It was about time for the latest issue of Golf For Women to arrive. Ok, I know what you’re thinking. What’s a tall good-looking, vigorous guy like ol’ Freddie doing subscribing to a chick mag? Well, the fact is, if you like golf it’s a heck of a good read. Plus they always have a hot babe on the cover. I like those skort things they wear.

I don’t want to sound like some kind of intellectual. After all, I’ve got a reputation to uphold. I’ve won the union beer chugging contest fifteen years in a row (I’ve got the belly to prove it). But the reality is, this Golf For Women Magazine is pretty good. Besides, I’m a big fan of magazines. I can’t hardly stand to watch TV anymore (I admit I do like that ShamWow guy). I think they hire wash-outs from Highway Patrol School to write the drivel they put on prime time. I theorize that TV is intellectually centered on the upper third of the lower fifth of the bottom half of the least intelligent portion of the population. In other words, produced by maroons to be watched by maroons.

And the video you get on the Web is even worse. YouTube is getting bigger than Larry King’s prostrate, but it’s as bad as his last face lift.

But I digress.

This Friday evening instead of finding my copy of Golf For Women I got a letter saying the magazine has ceased publication, citing some baloney about lack of ad revenue, the failing economy, etc.

I’m not buying that–especially for a magazine with a circulation of 600,000.

First, other than the price of gas and corn, I think the press has got this whole economy thing blown out of proportion. I can’t even get a kid to wash the Camaro. And Zelda next door? She moved to Edmonton where she got a job pouring coffee at Tim Horton’s for $50k plus all the doughnuts she could eat (Zelda likes doughnuts). I think that the MEN who were running ad sales at Golf For Women just got lazy–probably from watching too much YouTube.

The result? The death of the best overall golf magazine in North America. Their Editor-in-Chief Susan Reed was a true standout in the world of golf journalism. And look at who she was up against–I used to think Feherty was pretty entertaining, but he’s a hack. I think he’s got Tourette’s. He can’t finish a sentence anymore without some kind of rude reference.

But I guess in the end for Susan it was the deadly affliction–X chromosome disease–that did her in. She’s moved on to take over O, the Oprah magazine… Where she belongs, I guess.

Heck, everyone knows golf is a man’s game–no room for the skorts anyway. Besides, they’re slow, can’t break 150, and all they do is talk about their new golf clothes. Who needs ‘em?

But I do wonder what the game of golf would have been like if it had accepted women.

JULY 19, 2008.

N500Y started as a blog but gravitated to becoming a growing collection of essays, most of which are not related to discussing news events in the sense of germane today and lining the bottom of a birdcage tomorrow. But this entry is a true blog that will likely be obsolete in a few hours.

In 1995 Greg Norman was nearing his run of ten years where he spent most of the time as the world’s number one ranked golfer. That year, a survey of PGA TOUR spectators found that 70% attended the event to see Greg play. Greg was golf’s unquestioned star.

In 1996 Greg collapsed at the Masters, then at the U.S. Open. It was the beginning of the end of his reign, both in his dominance and as the darling of Tour golf.

It was also in the fall of 1996 that Tiger Woods won his first professional event. He played in three majors that year, and has played in every major since, until this week’s Open.

Tiger has been world number one for most of the time since Norman’s decline.

Does anyone see the irony in Greg coming from nowhere to almost lead the Open after two rounds–the first Open Tiger has missed since Greg was on his game?

And where did David Duval come from? Anyone remember that he was world number one for a while in 1999?